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Voice: Client's voice

Audience: Client's family

Say Back: The author is describing the feelings of a stroke patient. She discusses the man's fear of his wife not loving him the way she used to. The author expresses how the man is unable to communicate with his family by saying, "I hear the words coming out of my mouth, I see the words coming out of my mouth. I want to communicate." The author is discussing the emotional aspects of having a stroke, and how one may feel by not being able to communicate the way they once did.

Bless: I enjoyed how you were able to put in the sentence, "I am a man with a drooping right side," throughout the poem. It made me feel as if this person only saw himself as a man who no longer has use of the right side of his body. It was as if he no longer saw himself as an individual, but just someone who had a stroke and has a drooping right side. Also, you did a really good job at talking about the emotional side of not being able to communicate. It was very creative.

Address: The lines, "I try as hard as I can in speech therapy and I hope it will help" do not seem to flow with the rest of the poem. The client was describing his inner thoughts to his family and how his stroke has affected him, and those two lines seemed off-topic to me. If those two lines were omitted, I think the poem would flow much better.

Kim (genre 2)


Voice: Client with Broca’s Aphasia.

Audience: The client’s family

Say back: The poem reflects the thoughts and feelings of a client who has suffered a stroke and now endures debilitating side effects as a result. During the course of the poem, the writer reflects on the realizations he has come to concerning the disorder, as well as fears he has that deal with thoughts related to the possibility of losing things and people he loves due to the disorder. The focus line in the poem, which the writer always returns to, is,” I am a man with a drooping right side.”, which states to the reader how the clients thinks the rest of the world sees him now.

Bless: You really hit home with this poem. With your use of specifics, like stating how the client is in great fear of losing the people he loves, especially his wife, and the way in which you reflected the desperation in the clients material like in the statements,” I cry at the thought of living without her.”, and,” I say to myself that everything will be ok, just keep trying.”, I think you did a good job of making the client seem very vivid and real.
Address: You might want to move the line that states that a stroke is the reason behind this mans “drooping right side” a little further up the poem in a more initial position so the reader can already set their minds to why this man is disabled in this way. Also, somewhere in the poem you probably need to mention that the client suffers from Broca’s Aphasia as a result of the stroke as no doubt the doctors have already informed hime of this.